February. The month of love. As a single mom, it felt like February was taunting me. Images of love and romance were flaunted everywhere, bringing up feelings of inadequacy and not-enoughness. Shame and self-pity crept in. I’d ponder, “What’s wrong with me? Why does no one want me?”
I’m now married to a man who treats me like a queen. However, sometimes I focus on my partner’s flaws and annoying habits, rather than appreciating all the beautiful gestures and the small, thoughtful actions he takes each day. It’s a constant dance, this remembering to appreciate. (Am I the only one?)
Looking back to my single mom days, I now see I was getting exactly what I focused on. The more I focused on loneliness and the feelings of inadequacy, the more I received of those. The more I searched for love from others, the less I loved myself.
It's so important to be grateful for the love we have and have had. This includes letting go of ranting over how past loves hurt me, and instead, being thankful for the love they did give, even if that love was fleeting.
Life is about more than romantic relationships, though. There are also family and friend relationships. I’ve decided to open my heart to love, even if that may lead to heartache. Sometimes it’s a battle with the ego; the ego doesn’t want to look stupid or be taken advantage of. This is where breath and meditation come in (Always pause and take a nice slow deep breath before saying something you may regret.)
Now, I'm not saying to love foolishly. Some people are meant to be loved from a distance – some, the further, the better! But I am saying that bitterness and resentment are a waste of energy.
The most important relationship is the one with yourself. Your outer relationships will reflect your inner relationship. So, when we find relationships to be a struggle, the first place to look is within. How are we treating ourselves? Are we ignoring our needs, not speaking up, and wallowing in negative thoughts about ourselves?
If I had my way, I’d change Valentine’s Day to National Love Yourself Day. Make it a day to celebrate all our individual qualities. A day to put ourselves first and pamper our inner child with some play and heartwarming self-talk.
One of the most important practices I do twice every day, is to breathe and meditate. I give myself this quiet time to look within and find peace. During this meditation, I focus on my heart, sending unconditional love throughout my body. It’s important to have self-compassion and to be kind to yourself as you practice. The mind can often sabotage our efforts. If this happens remember, we all make mistakes; it’s part of being human.
I’ve created a short practice to help you cultivate self-love, along with five tips for being kinder to yourself. You'll find them both below
Sending you lots of love and remember to hug yourself occasionally and let your body know how much you love it. 💕
Share your favorite daily self-care practice below!
5 Ways to Love Yourself More
- Mindful Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your imperfections with kindness and understanding. Treat yourself with the same care and understanding you would offer a dear friend.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. This could include anything from a relaxing bath to a nature walk, reading a good book, or simply enjoying a cup of tea in silence.
- Set Healthy Boundaries: Learn to say "no" to things that drain your energy and prioritize activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
- Embrace Your Uniqueness: Celebrate your individuality and embrace your quirks. Remember that you are perfectly imperfect, and that is exactly what makes you special.
- Practice Gratitude: Take time each day to appreciate the good things in your life, big and small. Gratitude can shift your focus from what's lacking to what you already have.
0 Comments